I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just blew my weed a kiss
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
