Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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