I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
