i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
