The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't deserve a penis
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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