It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
