I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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