you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
