the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
