Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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