Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
