did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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