i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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