I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
