I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
