doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
