I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
