sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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