if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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