I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just had sex on a roof
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
