we have officially lost it.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.