i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
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I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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