Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?

  (760): View more from California

  You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.

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  (301): Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room? (760): You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet. http://tfl.nu/jiuf
  Replies (27) Good night (4135) Bad night (555)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas

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  (917): I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas http://tfl.nu/eh4r
  Replies (58) Good night (987) Bad night (6006) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"

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  (708): Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex" http://tfl.nu/sy7y
  Replies (42) Good night (1268) Bad night (14322) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do

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  (201): the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do http://tfl.nu/8wsa
  Replies (24) Good night (1311) Bad night (4181) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.

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  (724): I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head. http://tfl.nu/4vvd
  Replies (10) Good night (3693) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.

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  (250): I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him. http://tfl.nu/wjhp
  Replies (16) Good night (5466) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.

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  (570): Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful. http://tfl.nu/oenz
  Replies (6) Good night (1644) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna

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  (703): that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good (1-703): that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna http://tfl.nu/tr0q
  Replies (7) Good night (4039) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.

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  (515): IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard. http://tfl.nu/ob2l
  Replies (1) Good night (810) Bad night (1665) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there

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  (909): Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there http://tfl.nu/y3ph
  Replies (16) Good night (1618) Bad night (1982) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded

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  (519): That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded http://tfl.nu/gpq0
  Replies (3) Good night (1783) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.

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  (864): I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out. http://tfl.nu/hn3q
  Replies (3) Good night (1796) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears

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  (616): I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears http://tfl.nu/z9kz
  Replies (12) Good night (526) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?

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  (651): Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD? http://tfl.nu/tnlb
  Replies (7) Good night (1417) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you

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  (425): I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you http://tfl.nu/h4jv
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt

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