we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
