Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.

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  (250): I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can. http://tfl.nu/1tw1
  Replies (16) Good night (3304) Bad night (809)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!

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  (410): Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!! http://tfl.nu/gjd6
  Replies (8) Good night (4772) Bad night (945)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.

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  (973): I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance. http://tfl.nu/0bj8
  Replies (13) Good night (4373) Bad night (974)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.

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  (940): I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner. http://tfl.nu/au8r
  Replies (41) Good night (4359) Bad night (1757)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp

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  (513): you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp http://tfl.nu/1q8y
  Replies (23) Good night (4865) Bad night (833)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.

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  (215): Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked. http://tfl.nu/7s06
  Replies (31) Good night (4197) Bad night (2071)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  They are making fun of natty and blackberries.

  (646): View more from New York

  Tell them they are ugly.

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  (856): They are making fun of natty and blackberries. (646): Tell them they are ugly. http://tfl.nu/s2y1
  Replies (8) Good night (4026) Bad night (1226)
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  (+36): View more from

  until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.

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  (+36): until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober. http://tfl.nu/a4ay
  Replies (4) Good night (2286) Bad night (646)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.

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  (973): We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness. http://tfl.nu/5j3m
  Replies (17) Good night (2805) Bad night (1119)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind

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  (904): just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind http://tfl.nu/p8c9
  Replies (10) Good night (1680) Bad night (595)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye

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  (360): Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye http://tfl.nu/wt8g
  Replies (5) Good night (608) Bad night (908)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.

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  (405): I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream. http://tfl.nu/lzqh
  Replies (12) Good night (2094) Bad night (522)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.

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  (561): I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished. http://tfl.nu/wm2d
  Replies (1) Good night (1192) Bad night (428)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.

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  (803): I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids! (1-803): Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew. http://tfl.nu/h7pj
  Replies (6) Good night (2012) Bad night (676)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.

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  (210): If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this. http://tfl.nu/pefz
  Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (564)

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