She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.