Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.

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  (302): She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god. http://tfl.nu/566r
  Replies (25) Good night (4985) Bad night (518)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.

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  (870): Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/xv3v
  Replies (30) Good night (3908) Bad night (1345)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I resent that

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  (989): If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back (906): I resent that http://tfl.nu/qneu
  Replies (6) Good night (2965) Bad night (1691)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.

  (941): View more from Florida

  it was a krispy kreme

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  (609): wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut. (941): it was a krispy kreme http://tfl.nu/o743
  Replies (15) Good night (5055) Bad night (1195)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.

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  (503): Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in. http://tfl.nu/17i8
  Replies (1) Good night (1041) Bad night (461)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.

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  (330): I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/wf9d
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (581)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?

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  (+61): Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here? http://tfl.nu/9sbn
  Replies (2) Good night (1078) Bad night (406)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection

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  (440): I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection http://tfl.nu/hamn
  Replies (2) Good night (1174) Bad night (422)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?

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  (813): People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits? http://tfl.nu/du6g
  Replies (6) Good night (3105) Bad night (613)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it

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  (541): I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it http://tfl.nu/0g6v
  Replies (4) Good night (2172) Bad night (393)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  151 hangover. Need apocalypse.

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  (330): 151 hangover. Need apocalypse. http://tfl.nu/xu7i
  Replies (3) Good night (979) Bad night (438)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out

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  (513): you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out http://tfl.nu/zkkx
  Replies (7) Good night (383) Bad night (909)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.

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  (616): I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once. http://tfl.nu/2lkb
  Replies (6) Good night (515) Bad night (227)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?

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  (571): Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you? http://tfl.nu/rje6
  Replies (13) Good night (318) Bad night (663)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.

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  (403): Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts. http://tfl.nu/53ih
  Replies (4) Good night (670) Bad night (274)

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