Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ***** fucked a guy with one hand last night

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  (248): ***** fucked a guy with one hand last night http://tfl.nu/a7su
  Replies (7) Good night (1145) Bad night (637)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf

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  (978): i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf http://tfl.nu/hwzk
  Replies (44) Good night (15276) Bad night (1702)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.

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  (260): It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs. http://tfl.nu/yz88
  Replies (14) Good night (1286) Bad night (4688)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster

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  (206): it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster http://tfl.nu/ujaf
  Replies (15) Good night (3515) Bad night (1242)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.

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  (859): If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know. http://tfl.nu/ok32
  Replies (6) Good night (1029) Bad night (549)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina

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  (440): It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina http://tfl.nu/iyhy
  Replies (7) Good night (728) Bad night (1407)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him

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  (813): You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him http://tfl.nu/hong
  Replies (5) Good night (1687) Bad night (659)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here

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  (615): you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here http://tfl.nu/rzkr
  Replies (2) Good night (1201) Bad night (461)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.

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  (847): Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing. http://tfl.nu/jldd
  Replies (14) Good night (1704) Bad night (606)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"

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  (502): Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch" http://tfl.nu/4pzk
  Replies (2) Good night (667) Bad night (479)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Someone came in the potted fern

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  (412): Someone came in the potted fern http://tfl.nu/9dts
  Replies (6) Good night (471) Bad night (776)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night

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  (586): The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night http://tfl.nu/8plh
  Replies (0) Good night (468) Bad night (299)
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  (415): View more from California

  Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.

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  (415): Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards. http://tfl.nu/5c0c
  Replies (0) Good night (262) Bad night (536)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You brought string cheese to the strip club

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  (412): You brought string cheese to the strip club http://tfl.nu/u2d8
  Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (326)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?

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  (905): how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual? http://tfl.nu/85ie
  Replies (3) Good night (405) Bad night (92)

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