Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.