Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
