Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
