So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
