Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We need to rekindle our bromance
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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