I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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