11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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