remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
