I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize