Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
