I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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