Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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