you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
not ubering you a puppy
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize