It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
