Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
