i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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