I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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