So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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