Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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