i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
