meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
