I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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