How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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