I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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