seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
