Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize