Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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