yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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