omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
