Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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