we have officially lost it.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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