One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
