Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize