i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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