Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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