4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you would pick up someone in the library
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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